From:  "Brian Day" <therealslimbrian@hotmail.com> 

Subject: the illegal aWARds

Date:    Sun, 23 Mar 2003 23:12:10 -0800

 

So, I'm watching my cableless television this evening and a great many things disturbed me. I try to be well-rounded with information, yet I know my heart tends to dictate many of my choices and opinions. I don't have CNN, nor do I subscribe to The National Review, Newsweek or even T.V.Guide. (I have been receiving the embarrassingly bad Stuff magazine for the past three months due to a "free" offer that Mia e-mailed my way, but that is another rant entirely). My problem is this: Adrian Brody?!!? Where the fuck did he come from? I've been hearing about this showdown between Nicholson and Day Lewis for months and I must say that I feel I am losing confidence in the current administration of my beloved academy. I'll give you "shock and awe"---Roman Polanski???!!! WTF? This guy nails thirteen-year-olds and beat Scorsese? How could this be? I keep up to date on current events: Entertainment Weekly had been trumpeting Jack and Marty all along. Premiere told me to go with Day Lewis. The L.A. Times shouted this very morning that Oscar loves Jack. I don't know who to trust anymore...only in a world gone mad can Frida beat out John Williams in a original score category. The only sure bet this evening was that Michael Moore would roll his own grenade into the academy's tent as they plot new ways to fuck up my pool. Yes, my wife beat me in the Oscar pool for the first time ever. Ever! Do you all understand the seriousness of what is happening?

I do appreciate Eric and Vasquez taking the time (and having the foresight) to go to Hollywood yesterday morning to protest in front of the Kodak Theatre, however this doesn't change the fact that some foreign bastard used a chemical weapon on Spartacus when we weren't looking. Seriously, Kirk Douglas couldn't move half his face! And don't get me started on the sound effects editing guy. Those of you who saw the show know what I'm talking about. Each word out of his mouth was like a full-facial dry heave. True irony is the best sound guy not being able to make one. Also, Iraq may be wack, but so is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Did you see how fat she got? I've heard of Hunger Strikes, but these politically-minded celebs are making us suffer too. And how about the dead list tonight? James Coburn? When did this happen? Flint is gone!!!!! Nooooooo!!! And Dudley Moore? Didn't Arthur die like during the first Gulf War. My frustration over tonight's events may seem trivial to some of you, but dammit...it's all I know. These e-mails that fill my box, whether from our beloved Eric, or that sumbitch Jack ;-), are getting pretty intense. Am I the only one feeling the sexual tension? I'm talking season three Mulder and Scully heat. Anyway, I may be insensitive and somewhat scatterscot, but you would be too if the only thing keeping you above .500 in your Oscar pool was a random lucky selection in the Animated Short category. War bad. Long Live the ChubbChubbs!!!!

 

Brian

 

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Date:    Sun, 23 Mar 2003 23:36:34 -0800

Subject: Re: the illegal aWARds

From:  "JAX BOX" <jaxbox@sbcglobal.net> 

 

Brian, I think you need to be on that show "EntertainmentAccessExtraEnewsTrueHollywoodStory" doing the reviews of the Oscars¨ all this week. You've got what it takes. Where are the Steve Martin observations?

 

And as far as any sexual tension between "Erica" and I, all that ended once he cut of his "White Boy Dreads." And the Tension was actually more like "Sam and Diane."

 

S.B. Jack

 

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Date:    Mon, 24 Mar 2003 06:13:14 -0800

Subject: Re: the illegal aWARds

From:  "Eric Burgess" <zteecher@yahoo.com> 

 

FYI: IÕm Sam.

 

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