So Mike Tellez tells me about this hot sauce that is supposed to do some serious damage. Being white Tabasco Sauce has the potential to scald me but I am intrigued. We do some research on "The Source" and, sure enough, this is ain't ketchup were talking about here. It was priced anywhere from $80.00 to $160.00 for one ounce! In order to fully understand the power of The Source I first became acquainted with the Scoville Scale, the system used to measure the heat of peppers. The Source ranks at 7.1 million Scoville Units!

Now The Source doesn't have some fancy name like "Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally" or some other sauces, but what it lacks in a catchy monicker it makes up through pure heat. In consulting the list of Scoville Scale ratings you will see that The Source ranks above police-grade pepper spray! Hell yeah! Literally.

Over the next few days I heard stories of students that had tried The Source, including one kid who tasted too much, proceeded to vomit all over the locker room, then spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office. "Wuss," I think to myself. Then Mike informs me that he can get some of the stuff so we decide to record my dance with the devil.


Students gather around while I have taken all the precautions: milk from the cafeteria, toothpaste from the nurse, and a pack of gum.




The Source is so notorious even zee Germans know about it.




I start off with a small amount on the tip of the tongue depresser.




Here goes....




It tastes like burning. No, seriously.




Since that little bit only burned part of my tongue, I get cocky and try a whole lot more. Of course, it helps that Mike is using peer pressure. Oh, and in case you're wondering, no, Mike never tried the stuff. Shows how stupid I am.




Crap, what have I done?!




And then it begins: After 45 seconds the eyes are bloodshot and I begin to sweat profusely.




After testing myself to see how long I could go without drinking the milk my throat began to constrict and I began to struggle with my breathing. I suddenly remembered that police-grade pepper spray makes it difficult for someone to breathe. Uh oh!




The milk wasn't cutting it. After no more than two seconds with a gulp in my mouth it heated up and I was forced to swallow it lest my mouth burn even more. So I started to chewing stick after stick of gum.




Unfortunately the picture is blurry because my tongue actually blistered.




Finally the pain subsided after an excruciatingly touch-and-go 10 minutes, only to be replaced by some serious nausea caused by swallowing The Source/milk. I'm not even going to discuss my experiences in the restroom later that night. You're welcome.



If you don't want to take my word for the intense power of The Source just read some reviews by customers other than myself.

Postscript: Apparently there are now two hot sauces hotter than The Source: Blair's 6 a.m. and Caldera, both responses to The Source. With each over 10 million on the Scoville Scale, no thank you. I've learned my lesson.