So since I teach a zero period I don't go to the monthly staff meetings. At these meetings there are donuts provided; no meeting, no donut. But Lois Heilemann is always kind enough to bring me a donut which I place on my desk for later consumption. As a habit I go to the office in between first and second periods to visit my mailbox. Over the past few months I have returned to my classroom only to find that my gifted-donut had a large bite taken out of it.

Okay, I mostly ignored these pastry attacks until the bastard went too far. After my grandfather died Michelle Day, Brian's wife, sent a batch of brownies to help cheer me up. I left the plate on my desk and ran some errands on campus only to return to a half-eaten brownie. The perpetrator was nowhere to be seen.

I had my suspicions, of course, but the culprit had eluded me. That is until one day one of my students e-mailed me some proof:

Kosal Taing!

Kosal needs some introduction: I first met him his sophomore year in my World Lit Honors English class. He had moments of brilliance but was usually the class clown and, more often than nought, moronic. That year he came to school dressed only in a giant diaper for Halloween. Kosal was also in my journalism class for two years, my Senior English Seminar AP class and a member of FBLA of which I was the advisor. It was at an FBLA leadership conference in Burbank that he woke me up early one morning having cut eye holes in a hotel sheet, moaning that he was the ghost of Gary Porter's mom (Gary was a very white classmate of his). Late in his senior year I got a call from Kosal telling me he had been arrested during a trip to Chicago for driving the wrong way down a one-way street (plus he had left his wallet in his hotel room). Yep, I was not surprised to see Kosal in the above photo.

One of my favorite Kosal moments is the day he teased Diego Martinez with a slice of pizza. It was the middle of wrestling season and Diego was cutting weight. A former Rosemead wrestler himself, Kosal knew exactly what Diego was going through when he laughingly waved the pizza in his face. With predator-like speed Diego knocked the pizza to the ground to the amusement of the journalism class.

For the brownie incident I did not need to wait long for a retaliation opportunity. On Kosal's birthday his girlfriend, Shuk, made him cholcolate chip cookies.

Did I mention chocolate chip cookies are my favorite? Since it was the guy's birthday I only took bites of four cookies, leaving my teeth marks for him to find.

To pay me back for the he waited for a day that I was absent then went to work, removing every textbook from my classroom. I teach four different classes so that was a lot of books. When I returned the next day I couldn't teach my first class because there were no books to be found.

He even left a ransom note taped to my TV reading, "If you ever want these books again send me the keys to your mom's house!!!" Not only did he get me back, but he got in a mom joke. Nice.

It was time to end the game and bury this fool. With the help of two of Kosal's classmates, An Pham (jelly-filled donut) and Jorge Peniche (habanero hot sauce), I waited for the day of the Senior Assembly when Kosal would be out of my class. The following clip shows the springing of the trap (that is Gary Porter Kosal is making fun of, and Jorge and An exchanging high-fives at the end).

"Sweet" revenge