So with the end of the six episode, 28-year Star Wars epic that helped define my life I was in desperate need of something to ease the mourning process. Was it a coincidence that Space Mountain opened in 1977, the same as the original Star Wars film, after more than two years of redesign and refurbishment, and that Disneyland was poised to re-open the roller coaster a mere two months after the opening of Revenge of the Sith? I think not. So Brian and I, armed with our annual passes, headed to "The Happiest Place on Earth" for the most exciting ride of our lives.


605 South to 5 South to Disneyland Drive, baby!




Yep, good old Disneyland lines.




Our mad dash for Space Mountain was stopped cold by a Disney employee informing us that the ride was delayed by "unexpected meteor showers." Bonus points for catching the lady forming the "sh" in shower and Brian forming the "f" in....




With Space Mountain yet to open we headed over to the Matterhorn. Evidently I was not the first to enjoy the stomach-turning ride this day.




A shot just before Brian scared the crap out of me. Fucker.




Brian had apparently been in the Big Thunder Mountain line before.




Looking out at the crowd from the Splash Mountain line I sighted something...




...and it wasn't going to get a hug from me.




I don't recall the manner in which we posed for the Splash Mountain camera but it apparently offended the Disney censors and our picture was "washed away." The real point of this picture, though, is the father of a German family that suffered the sad fate of being seated in our boat. Sorry Deter, you can stare until the Fourth Reich rises but your photo ain't coming up either. Scheiße!




Sweet churro.




To go where no man has gone in over two years.




Consider me welcome.




I'm working on winning the title from Brian in 2005.




Now boarding for the moon.




"And the Moon and the Stars and the World"

Long walks at night--
that's what good for the soul:
peeking into windows
watching tired housewives
trying to fight off
their beer-maddened husbands.

Charles Bukowski






At least this picture didn't "fly away." Plus I saved $8.95 with my digicam. Suck it, Disney!




After conquering all the Disneyland "mountains" we headed over to California Adventure. Just inside the gate we noticed a little girl receiving the autograph of Mulan. We also noticed the very white woman in the traditional Chinese apparel. What, you don't have any other Asians working for you? I wonder if I can get a job following around Pocohantes as her Indian companion.




Yeah, it was hot.




Brian on the Grizzly River Run.




Another view.




I guess that's supposed to be a bear in the background (hence, the "grizzly" in the River Run) but it looks like a wolf to me, so Raaaawr!




Heading home Brian sighted an intriguing license plate...




...the Cock Master is in full effect!




Michael Tellez, muscles and all, graced us with his presence at the Old Spaghetti factory. I snuck off and told the workers that it was his birthday. Sucker.




He was so embarrassed I started to feel sorry for him.




That is until my next sip of iced-tea. While I was away plotting, Brian and Mike poured a generous amount of salt in my drink. Sucks to be me.