So Brian calls me up and says let's go have fun. "Mr. Scott, the word is given."

With a wide variety of ideas in mind, we brought swim trunks and a pair of pants. Because you never know.

Before we left the house Brian gave me my birthday present that had been on back-order since April: Tiberius cologne. Yes, it is that Tiberius. Buckle up, son, I am about to Boldly Go. (And yes, I realize my sci-fi is clashing.)

Our travels took us through the painful L.A. morning rush.

We eventually made to Universal City.

Miraculously, I even found free parking in the Gold Line lot.

Our plan was to get two of the 100 free tickets to see The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. Foiled by traffic.

Well, when in Rome... what the tourists do: Universal City Walk.

Walking around we noticed some $9.99 Michael Jackson memorials shirts. Now who would buy something cheesy like this?

I'm looking at the man in the mirror.

Brian added some Kanye flavor...

...with a pinch of J-Lo.

With Conan out of the equation we decided to check out the movie theater schedule.

Monkey nuts, anyone?

Check out that tongue action.

Snack time before the movies.

We opted for Dodger Dogs, of course.

I asked Ebony if she would take a picture with us to celebrate the life of MJ. If you look closely, you can actually read her thoughts: ''White boys!''

And yes, Ebony really is her name.

It was so cold Brian busted out his Spiderman towel to stay warm.

After seeing I Love You, Beth Cooper (a choice for which Brian will owe me for many years) we sauntered into Bruno.

After the movies we went to Game Stop.

Then we headed to the Universal City Hilton to go for a swim.

But first we had to find the pool in that damn labyrinth.

I call this shot ''Brian Day: Portrait of a Big Pussy.'' Why? After discovering that the pool needed a key card for the gate, I simply reached over and opened it. But because some old man in the pool area frowned at us Brian aborted the mission.

Before leaving the Hilton we changed in the restroom for our next pool assault. That's right, the Michael Jackson shirts remained.

As we headed for the car, I forced Brian to stop at the Sheraton (which is adjacent to the Hilton).

The Sheraton pool also needed a room card for entrance but we just waited 20 seconds for someone to come out and we walked in.

I love free swimming.

The story behind this picture is actually quite long. Suffice it to say that Brian once tricked me into thinking we were going to the real Hollywood sign, when in fact we didn't. This is as close as I will probably ever get.

I'll take it!

As we walked to the car I caught some crazy dude having an argument with himself. I waited until I was far enough away before recording lest he flip out on me.

Refreshed, we headed to Hollywood.

Our first stop was, naturally, Michael Jackson's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

I know, man, I know.

Okay, now that's just creepy.

Our next stop was just across the street:

The legendary Roosevelt Hotel.

The history of the Roosevelt is virtually unmatched in Hollywood.

The Roosevelt pool and me.

Is the water that cold? Or is he just looking into the sun?

Chillin' like Bob Dylan.

A California shot

This is what it looks like at night. I swiped this off the Web.

On our way out of the Roosevelt we peeked into the adjoining bar called 25 Degrees in the middle of Happy Hour. Brian had a vanilla malt, I enjoyed a chocolate shake, and we shared the onion ring/french fry combo. If you click on the link those bar stools are where we sat.

From our 25 Degrees seats we could see our next destination.

On the way we took time for the requisite shot in front of Graumann's Chinese.

Brian took a moment to receive Jesus for power.

I love the Renaissance pool.

Brian enjoys it, also.

The cool thing about the pool is that it is on the fifth floor of the hotel, extended out so one can look out and see the Hollywood sign on one side...

...and Hollywood and Highland on the other.

When you look up there is plenty of beautiful Southern California blue sky.

Then tragedy struck: Brian realized he had gone swimming with his cell phone still in his back pocket. As he said, ''Nothing is free.''

It could have been worse:

Brian found a tooth (with filling) on the table. At least it wasn't his.

Brian then had to call his wife to explain what happened. Let's just say she was not amused.

Off to the next adventure.

But not before enjoying complimentary M&Ms in the Renaissance lobby. Is this a great country or what?

I think we found the only cooler MJ memorial shirt.

Smartest taxi driver in Hollywood.

We decided to use our foot massage gift certificates the Class of 2012 kids gave us.

Another satisfied customer.

Then we headed to the Dresden, famous for, among other things, being featured in the film Swingers.

It is mostly known for Marty and Elayne, famous lounge singers.

Evidently, Marty takes his sweet time getting on, to the point that Brian began to look strange.

He only got stranger.

After meandering about the lounge for close to a half hour Marty finally joined Elayne.

Sadly, I was ultimately underwhelmed. This seemed like the best place to end the night.