So Brian and I were asked to chaperone Physics Day at Magic Mountain sponsored by GATE (Gifted and Talented Education). While I would like to say they had me at Physics, it actually took until Magic Mountain entered the conversation. So on a beautiful, Southern California Sunday morning we met 53 Physics nerds at the high school and took a school bus to Six Flags! (Cue the rave music and the annoying Freddy Krueger-looking dancing old man.)

(Click on QuickTime pix for videos)

The best and brightest (not to mention weirdest) that Rosemead High School has to offer.

20 minutes in and they were already falling asleep.

Probably stayed up late last night doing his Physics homework.

Brian and I found the wallet of an Arroyo kid named Ernesto Mercado who must have lost it on a field trip. After looking through the wallet we ascertained that he works at the Vans store in the Santa Anita mall. We cooked up a scavenger hunt that Ernesto must go on in order for him to find his wallet which we will hide somewhere in the mall. To top it off we're going to film him on his hunt. Or maybe we'll just take it to his work because we're better at cooking up stupid adventures than actually carrying them out.

Our first heart-rending stop: Riddler's Revenge.

Going up.

Riddle me this…

...riddle me that...

...who on this ride... a big scaredy cat?

Brian then talked me into getting on Tidal Wave even though there was a stiff breeze on a brisk March morning.

Which explains why we are the only ones on the damn ride.

Then, to top it off, as we are about to make our fall we realize that the ride operator forgot to lock down our safety bar. Not only do you see and hear our terror, but if you watch closely at the end of the video, my hat flies off. For a moment I thought I had lost it in the water. As I was climbing back a couple of rows to retrieve it I noticed the workers looking at me with sour faces. When we pulled in they started scolding me about staying seated. After Brian pointed out their safety bar mistake they quickly changed their tune, apologizing profusely.

Not only were we totally cool about it...

...I went on the ride again by myself. Brian was going to go next but a crowd became aware of the lack of a line.

Next came Colossus.

Then Scream!, which Brian believed should have been named Puke!

Then Brian decided to feed the animals.

For lunch we went to the Mooseburger Lodge.

We even got our own Mooseburger Antlers (I forgot to look gangsta).

We then headed for Tatsu, a ride neither of us had ridden.

Brian was not enthralled with Tatsu.

I shared the sentiment.

90 degrees at 60 mph is probably not what God intended for man during his creation.

Brian and I bet $5.00 on who would lose their moose antlers first.

It appeared that the wager would be decided soon.

And away we went.

This is what I saw for about 90% of the ride.



Notice anything different about Brian?

Yep, my boy lost his specs. Tatsu dusted off the Jack Merridew backhand on him.

I couldn't stop laughing.

This shot must have been taken just seconds after he lost his glasses. You can see him reaching out for them while I'm in hysterics.

Oh, and the antler bet?

It was a tie.

We then charted the course of Tatsu and looked for Brian's glasses.

And wouldn't you know it...

...Brian actually found his right lens.

You can't make this stuff up.

Thinking maybe someone found the mangled frames we even checked the trashcans, to no avail.

So we went on with the day, making new friends.

Then came the dreaded phone call – a student was injured and we needed to go to the first aid station.

Annie sprained her knee.

This gave Helen Keller a chance to rest.

Roberto kept Annie company while the Six Flags medic, Michael Luther (who, by the way, claims to be a descendent of Martin Luther), called Annie's English-challenged parents to explain to them that her leg was not seriously injured. Or, to retell it exactly in his words, ''Knee no broke. '' Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.

After we left Annie resting we forged on, finding Wonder Woman and Aquaman.


Then we headed to Ben and Jerry's.

Brian paid the five bucks for me to climb this jacked-up rope game, which I failed at miserably. Since it was his fiver, as a consolation prize Brian was given a stuffed hedgehog.

Make that a one-eyed, stuffed hedgehog. Brian swore Six Flags was mocking him.

Then we ran into Flash. Get it, ''ran''? Oh, and will someone explain why I used my best Elvis face for this shot?

We then went back to the first aid station to make sure Annie and Roberto would be transported back to the bus.

Once every one was back we headed home.


Brian showed up to work Monday wearing sunglasses. Prescription sunglasses, that is.

The future's so bright, he's gotta wear shades.