So several weeks Brian called me and told me to leave November 13th open. For a while he refused give me any hint. Finally he couldn't contain his excitement and told me. Then he invited his cousin Jeff, but didn't tell him the details. Unfortunately Brian's wife accidentally let the cat out of the bag when Jeff called. Nevertheless it was going to be an interesting night.

I hauled ass to Brian's house and just as I was pulling up I saw Jeff in the front yard. As I jumped out of the car I yelled "Shotgun!", just beating Jeff. Thus, he shared the back of the minivan with Sarah.

Unfortunately, in my rush to Brian's house I forgot to my camera battery that was charging next to my computer at work.

Luckily, Brian's cam was charged, and we were off.

After first depositing Sarah at Chris' (Brian's brother), house.

Brian busted out his new phone (yes, this one is color, has a camera, and can receive texts).

It was time to initiate Jeff in the Ways of the Minivan. At a red light Brian opened the sliding side door, leaving Jeff to stare at nearby drivers. Where's Jeff?

Dude ripped off his seat belt and dove in the very far back.

A couple of minutes later he wasn't so quick. So we taught him Mike Tellez' move: Grab hold of the door at every stop and keep it closed through sheer force.

A Los Angeles sunset: freeway traffic, power lines, and skyscrapers.

Brian's point of view of the 101.

5-0 takin' care of bidness.

Due to rush hour traffic and time constraints Brian decided to take Wilshire.

So we got a tour of L.A.: The Wiltern Theater...

...the El Rey...

...and the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.

We finally made it to Beverly Hills, and our first stop. Back at the beginning 2007 I told Brian that if he completed Mile 18 of the Los Angeles Marathon, I would treat him to Lawry's. Well, he made it, and we finally made it here.

Pardon me, do you have any Gray Poupon?

An appetizer of wine, beer and meatballs.


At Lawry's they bring the cart to your table and fill your order right there.

Jeff chose The Lawry Cut while Brian and I went with the more conservative English Cut.

Brian took his time to fully enjoy the creamed corn.

The dude sitting behind me ordered the aorta-nuking "Diamond Jim Brady Cut" of which I snapped a photo (with his permission, of course).

Brian and Jeff told them it was my birthday.

In conversation we learned the waitress on the left was an aspiring actress and published children's book author, while the one on the right had a hang over. They were surprisingly candid.

Brian and Jeff were awed by the richness of the Chocolate Fantasy cake.

But this was right down my alley.

Jeff surrendered.

Now for the bill. I forgot to mention that besides forgetting my camera battery, I also left my wallet behind. And Brian only had $20 on him.

That left Jeff. At least he was in line to earn a bunch of Disney Dollars.

With full bellies we headed out to claim our car from valet. Surrounded by the rides of the rich and famous...

...we jumped into the Minivan of Magic.

With Jeff and Brian going the Budweiser route during dinner I found myself in the captain's seat.

After finding sweet parking in Hollywood just off Sunset, Brian stopped at an ATM to get some cash. Don't adjust your monitors, in getting prepared for the next adventure Jeff was really acting retarded.

Brian kept telling him to stop.

This only made Jeff step it up. This picture makes me laugh out loud.

They had a height chart by the door.

After paying Jeff for dinner Brian decided to get his cousin a $10 tattoo. Jeff went along with it until...

...we actually went in and the reality (and permanency) of it hit him. Luckily for him their minimum charge was $60, probably to keep idiots (yes, like us) from doing precisely what we were doing. Even after Brian asked for a simple $10 dot we were denied.

Continuing along Sunset we found the Hustler store (in front of which Brian immediately molested Jeff).

Jeff prepared for his interview.

Giant bikini girls are good.

Jeff considered a subscription.

We decided to do a little Christmas shopping for Mike Tellez.

Since Nature was cruel to Mike we'd try to help him out. Check the specs: "Industrial Grade."

With the tool taken care of, the skills were next: An instructional video for the big guy.

Then comes training camp. Mike, you can thank us later.

We tried another tattoo joint. They wanted a minimum $80!

I love the creativity of new bands.

I wonder what they sell here.

This dude was out doing some last-minute advertising for his gig later that night.

We passed the Roxy, the place of one our early kick-ass adventures, but also the feature film debut of Brian and Eric. Make sure you pay attention at 2:16.

Why did Brian call the advertisement above the Key Club the Tard-get sign?

Because after we found our seats near the stage...

...we watched the Kids of Widney High perform.

"You better watch out or the insects will get you!"

Before anyone gets their panties in a wad and cancels their subscriptions to or threatens to boycott my advertisers...

...we honestly enjoyed ourselves. We even got a picture with Shelly Goodhope, the leader of the Widney group.

Plus we supported them financially. Go Kodiaks!

We hopped in the minivan and continued down Sunset.

Jeff called home like the dutiful husband.

I took pictures of this guy sleeping on the bus.

This is how I look after I back up and simultaneously slam on the brakes slap the outside of the door with my hand, simulating a fender bender. This never fails to scare the crap out of my passengers. Yeah, I'm a dick.

We finished up the night at the Arclight...

... to see No Country for Old Men. Arclight seating is assigned so you pick where you want to sit. This broad suggested we choose the back of the theater, promising that they were great seats. The bitch lied.

Did you know there was a Kitchen Academy adjacent to the Arclight?

Me neither.

Jeff posed in front of the Cinerama Dome.

We chose the movie poster. It looks like Brian is about to sneeze and I'm bracing for the aftermath.

Then I took some shots of the lobby from upstairs.

Hi Brian and Jeff.

It was a damn good movie, the type that left us discussing it all the way home.